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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #26 
Here's another one, to lighten the mood a little - Ghost Girl was very bleak [although that's the whole point of it] - anyway, without further ado, mes dames et messieurs, "Kissed Me Goodbye"

When you met me,
You asked me to dance and I 
Made the moves up
For your entertainment
But the next time
You ran off from me

This ain't a love song
This ain't a love song - oh no!
This ain't a love song
'Cause you kissed me goodbye!

I ran across you
In the park and I
Apologised so
You wouldn't have to but
Off you ran and 
Broke up my heart again

This ain't a love song
This ain't a love song - oh no!
This ain't a love song
'Cause you kissed me goodbye!

-   -    -   -   -    -     -    -    -    -    -   -    -     -    -    -    -    -    -     -    -     -    -      -     -    -   -   -    -

One thing I will say about this song is there's a bit of a problem with the time signature of it which I'm still trying to sort out. The crux of it is most of it is in 3/4, however this leaves no gaps with the vocal part of it, which kind of makes no sense, but there's one line in the chorus which is 4/4 - guess which one - anyway, I'm messing about with it, trying adding chords here and there, doing whatever. Basically, this song kind of needs work before I even think about recording it for you. Ghost Girl I can put up a recording of pretty soon though. Anyway, I've done enough messing about for one morning - I've got an essay on punk to finish. 

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dmxi

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Reply with quote  #27 
Writing songs, eh? Will be looking out for your first upload.......great to see young up coming artists.
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JDcat4

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Reply with quote  #28 
Thanks, dmxi. 
I always value your support.
I'll hopefully get it up there soon - just got a bit of work to do, is all.

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dmxi

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Reply with quote  #29 
The worth in essence of art is hard work......
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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #30 
Evening, all. I can't record Ghost Girl, unfortunately - there's just not enough room for it on my iPad. But I've written another song. I've filmed myself playing the piano part of it and singing - still needs work, unfortunately. But the good news is that I am now in a band, at long last, and we are working on said new song.
Fellow Joy Division fans, I give you "Never Again [You Don't Love Me]".

Never say never - say never again
'Cause you know that you don't need me
Never say never - say never again
'Cause that's the way you tease me, darling,
Never say never - say never again
'Cause you and me just don't work
Never say never - say never again
And this time you'd better listen 'cause

I don't care for your smiles anymore
I don't care for your lies, no, no, no
I don't care for your smiles anymore
I don't care for your lies, no, no, no

Never say never - say never again
So you won't have to worry 'bout me
Never say never - say never again
Then you and her can be together
Never say never - say never again
'Cause teasing me just won't work, darling
Never say never - say never again
Come on, baby, listen to me 'cause

Chorus [I don't care for your smiles...]

Never say never - say never again
'Cause this time is the last time, baby
Never say never - say never again
'Cause you and me are over, darling
Never say never - say never again
'Cause I'm sick and tired of losing, darling
Never say never - say never again
Now shut up and listen, darling, 'cause

Chorus [I don't care for your smiles...] x2

Never say never - say never again.


Me and my band have worked on this a lot today and we've got quite a few ideas down for it. We're still trying to sort of work out the rhythm of it a bit, really - the melody line is quite syncopated, so it is a bit weird. The verse is in two parts, really, that swap - the never say never line is obviously a recurring theme. That's it's main theme. Then the second part would be the lines in between that tell the story of the song more. Then, of course, there's the chorus, that pretty much says it all. Well, I hope you like it.

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JDcat4

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Reply with quote  #31 
Some of this I've kind of ad-libbing over, adding bits here and there, taking stuff out, etc. So, that's just the gist of the song I've written down in my lyrics - I'm not saying anything's properly official yet. Those could well change. But my band are happy with them so far, so I don't know. I'll keep you posted of any newer editions that develop.
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dmxi

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Reply with quote  #32 
Great,em......love the enthusiasm., don't forget to share & embrace all criticism as that is part of the glory[smile]
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JDcat4

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Reply with quote  #33 
Here I am, back on Lyricists' Corner - with more lyrics. It's another attempt at a pop song. 
Well, here it is - Screaming Over You.

If I could, I would
Show you just how I'm feeling
You won't ever listen
To a single word I'm saying
So I'll say is all I want is
This not to push you away
So here it is, might as well
Shout it at you anyway

Screaming over you [screaming over you]
Mad enough for two - again!
Screaming over you [you left me so blue]
Don't seem like I'm over you [over you]

Here I'm begging you to stay
A while, I won't be long
Can't wait for you
Feeling so blue
I beg you please
Don't drive me away
Well, here it is, I can tell
You won't hear it any day

Screaming over you [screaming over you]
Mad enough for two - again!
Screaming over you [you left me so blue]
Don't seem like I'm over you [over you]

Screaming over you [screaming over you]
Mad enough for two - again!
Screaming over you [you left me so blue]
Don't seem like I'm over you [over you]

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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #34 
Looking at this, it would appear I've never typed up the lyrics for Locked Up Inside... oh, woe is me - I've kept it Locked Up Inside for too long... 
Oh, well, lyrics first, story later.

No one sees me for what I am
Only I have myself to blame
Losing a friend who I'll never see again!
Don't let it end! Oh, why's it end like this?

If I just keep it locked up inside
If I don't open my arms out wide
Put on a show and just let it hide
Yeah, I just get on with my life

But it's not really like that - 
If people knew, they'd be horrified
Of what my mind's capable of - 
Contemplating whether to live or die

If I just keep it locked up inside
If I don't open my arms out wide
Put on a show and just let it hide
Yeah, I just get on with my life

Yeah, I just get on with my life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 



So I might as well tell you what the heck that's about then. Firstly, and this is a significant point - I wrote this in hindsight - I could not have written it given the state I was in at the time I wrote it about. 
Locked Up Inside - the title is pretty self-explanatory - every negative feeling I had I attempted to keep locked up inside. I'm glad to say it failed to escape the notice of some people though.
When I was fourteen, I had a bad year. I was being bullied - along with another friend of mine [not the one the song is referring to, by the way] - as ever, being autistic, not being able to get on with the majority of my class mates was somewhat frustrating, I was in the worst physical pain I'd ever been in up until that point with one injury or another, and my best friend [yes, this is the one the song is referring to] left that year. He is a couple of years older than me, so it was his last year at school. I fancied him though and we were very good friends, so his leaving hit me quite hard - broke my heart actually. At the time, I thought I'd never see him again - I lost contact with so many of the people I knew - I can hardly say a lot of them were friends, so the fact that I made any friends and lost them through their leaving, and eventually my leaving school, was not an easy thing. Also the previously mentioned friend was very negative herself, so that didn't help matters. So quite a bad year. By the end of it, I was really in a sodding awful place and I absolutely wouldn't wish it on anyone. It just felt like all the year's bad events had just built up and because I'd bottled so much of it up over the year, it eventually got out. But I'm glad I failed to keep it all locked up inside me forever - it's too hard to try and fool people sometimes. Now I'm a bit older, I'm more accepting of that. 
I wrote this when I was eighteen, four years after the events of the song took place. 
It's not an easy song for me to sing, nor write about, for that matter, but I decided it was about time I got it out there. Stuff like this doesn't just go away, unfortunately - I found myself in a very dark place, once again, only last winter [2015]. Part of my autism is that my emotions are, well, just a bit crazy. I have highs and lows - I am quite prone to the more melancholy [low] ends, but touch wood, I've not experienced anything like that dark since the winter of 2015, and I hope no one else does. If any of you suffer in this way, I deeply sympathise. 

I know this is very deep stuff, but I had to get it out.

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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #35 

The Light-Eyed Girl

She laid her head upon her pillow
Softly her eyelids did close
To open in a different scene
As light gazed in her eyes

She watched me dance so silently
As I ran from this foul vision
Time fell still around us and
She looked into the mirror

In the glass, she saw a veil
Drawn tight over my face
And wept the loss of a
Quiet dancer lying on the floor

A stone lay in her snow white hand
And a flower in the other
Tied with lace across her chest
A small bouquet of garlic

She awakened from her scattered dream
Those eyelids they did open
And closed to the world she had her view
With light gazed in her eyes


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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #36 

Colder Than Life

I am bleeding, dripping blood
And tears drip from my soul
As hard as I try it does no good
And all my heart pours from this wound
It gapes and aches and shakes and breaks
Shattered in pieces of my existence

But I just can't wait anymore
This unknown pain is just insane
As my dreams show the freak I am
And my own moan fills my own four walls
This can't escape my mind, I know
For I am loathe to let it go

I am waning, I am tearing
Down, tearing apart what's left of
Happiness, all the joy I had in me
I can see it draining like an
Hourglass, I haven't got the time
As I feel my heart grow colder

I can't run from my nightmares
As they soon become an isolated
Reality, now I'm stuck in this trap
I still bleed, I still drip blood and
As hard as I try it does no good
Now the writing is on the wall

I am bleeding, dripping blood
And tears drip from my soul
As my dreams show the freak I am
And my own moan fills my own four walls
As I feel my heart grow colder
I know now it is colder than life


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JDcat4

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Reply with quote  #37 

This Lying Man

When you looked into my eyes
When you gazed into my eyes
I thought I knew
I thought I knew

And when you turned your back on me
When you walked away from me
I think you knew
I think you knew

But now we can't talk
Now there's just this
Awkward silence
Hanging in the air

When at first I saw your smile
When at first I saw your charm
It seemed I knew
It seemed I knew

But then the smile became a frown
And then your charm used for my harm
Oh, yes you knew
Oh, yes you knew

But now we can't talk 
Now there's just this
Awkward silence
Hanging in the air

Later on we met again
Got to talking straight away
So then you knew
So then you knew

One by one the lies came out
You hid the truth I have no doubt
And now I know
And now I know

But now we can't talk
Now there's just this
Awkward silence
Hanging in the air

But now we can't talk
Now there's just this
Awkward silence
Hanging in the air

Between us
And this is how it ends


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dmxi

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Reply with quote  #38 
Like it...you are definitely evolving your craft,kudos.
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JDcat4

Exercise One
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Reply with quote  #39 
Thank you. This one's got a rather sad story which basically boils down to unfinished business. The last line in the song "This is how it ends" isn't much of an ending deliberately - the story of the song basically isn't finished but "This is how it ends" is supposed to make the point that it's doubtful that the problem roughly described in the song will ever be resolved. 


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Incubation

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Reply with quote  #40 
Hi there everyone, I've recently signed up for the forum but have been a "guest" for well over two years. I'm a singer in a Punk/Post-Punk band, The Wards. My favourite song we have is called Block 10, here are the lyrics.

Block 10

An inspection, an interjection of your thoughts,
Here comes the man in the white coat, eyeing you up like an animal,
Hung up in a market shop, his beady eyes stare at you in curiosity,
for his sick(x9) tendicies, don't you forget he's the one who will escape all penalties,
A game of cat and mouse till the seventies,

Subject 13 can't you see, he's the one who's watching me? (X4)

Don't you worry, don't you see, this is what happens to those different than me,
Don't you worry you'll soon find the DOCTOR is DEATH in disguise,

He'll sew you to your twin, justify himself as your next of kin,
In the end of this freakshow, the doctor will always know, as he subjects you to more blows,
Subject 13 can't you see, he's the one who's watching me, children ask why uncle has come to take them away, please lord, please lord, put them through to another day, these atrocities drive me insane,

Don't you worry, don't you see, this is what happens to those different than me,
Don't you worry you'll soon find the DOCTOR is DEATH in disguise,

To the ones who are different than me (X4)

LISTEN HERE:

(Apologies for the quite poor vocals, I was very sick when we did this gig but the demo doesn't do this song justice due to the lack of bass!)

It's about the atrocities of the infamous Block 10 at Auschwitz. More, in particular, the horrors of Doctor Josef Mengele, the Angel of Death. It's always a superb finish to our sets. Hope you enjoy.

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JDcat4

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Reply with quote  #41 
Thank you for sharing and welcome to JDC!
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dmxi

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Reply with quote  #42 
@em-cat+incubation
Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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